


The Stranger I See

by Minty (AMintyDyad)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A twisted happy everafter, Ben Solo is not who he says he is, Creepy, Dark fic, Dubious Consent, F/M, Finn and Rose are a thing, HEA, Hux and Kylo argue and are petty, Kidnapping, Kylo Ren is more of an alter ego, Lies, Maybe not TOO twisted, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Probably Stockholm Syndrome, Slow Burn, Stalking, Temporary Amnesia, lots of lying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26230429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMintyDyad/pseuds/Minty
Summary: Rey (24) has been involved in an accident and wakes to find a handsome stranger named Ben Solo (32) at her bedside. She suffers amnesia and sadly cannot remember him or getting married. He takes her home to their luxurious home and wants to start anew.But Rey doesn't want new, she longs for the past and why aren't the things Ben Solo say line up the stuff she discovers..?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 33
Kudos: 134





	1. Awaken

**Author's Note:**

> Please mind the tags. I will add ANY tags necessary if requested. Feel free to msg at any point. I want this to be a dark fic with certain themes and elements that may not sit well with everyone. If you find you have to stop reading this fic at any point, please know that I understand. Ultimately I want this to be enjoyable for those who do like creepy, dark tones. I have a lot of ideas brainstormed but not everything is written down. 
> 
> Also, this story is loosely based upon the movie Faces in the Crowd.

_"What will the recovery process be like?"_

_"It's hard to say Mr. Solo, her memories could return gradually or all at once, maybe never. It's a miracle she survived, but you have my card. Please call me directly if anything comes up or if you have questions. It's always a pleasure to work with -"_

The rhythmic hum of monitors echoed in the background and mixed in were soft speaking voices, although _what_ exactly being said just felt like white noise. There was one thing she could place and that was the overall lemon scent with chemicals that made the air taste sterile.

Her eyes fluttered open and a warm low light stung her eyes, she tried speaking but her throat felt _raw_ and weak. 

And what's more, she had a pair of whiskey colored eyes _looking_ at her - right at her. It made her stomach tighten, who was he? She tried sitting up, wanting to readjust, but an equally big hand pressed her shoulder into the mattress and _ugh_ it felt so heavy. _He_ felt heavy! It seemed so effortless and she felt a groan crawl out from her. 

She soon came to realize the mumbled noise was his words - _he_ was speaking and had been speaking when she finally found her voice.

"Wh..what?" She cleared her throat and brought a hand to her neck, but she couldn't quite catch why it felt so sticky. There was nothing external, the skin felt smoothed and untouched. It felt weak from disuse and that terrified her, just how long had she been out? A couple of days?

"Easy, easy, I got you." When he lowered himself to a sitting position, she studied his expression and found it warm with relief, a bit emotional as if he was holding in tears. He cracked a small smile at her as if to show that he wasn't a threat. 

"Wh..ere?" She swallowed feeling how tight her throat was and her face flashed in pain before it spurned into a coughing fit. He was at her side, leaning her forward and rubbing at her upper back. A nurse brought forth a cup of water and _he_ was there again to retrieve it. 

He seemed to sense the pressing confusion she had, but the hand that held her down firmly had finally relented when he sensed she wouldn't try to crawl out of the bed. A soft long stroke down her arm and his hand clasped over hers, firm like a big glove. Her shoulders relaxed realizing he probably held all the answers she needed and well, he felt relatively comforting as a person even if she had no idea who the hell he was. 

When she settled back in, her gaze was over his face once more taking in features. "You were.. In an accident. For two years, there was a _lot_ of swelling." He had a strong nose - it was the first distinctive feature she recognized, then his full lips and dark eyebrows that seemed to frame his face. "They - the uh, the doctors put you in a medical induced coma, but they weren't sure.." He had slight freckles that seemed scattered throughout, but it was perhaps the crown of black hair that made him seem more regal. 

"But I knew Rey. I knew. You're a fighter." His gaze met hers and she inhaled, deeply, turning away from how _much_ it burned her. He seemed so certain and it was frightening to think this wasn't just one big prank. It felt unreal and she re-listed the keywords over in her head: two years? A coma?

She couldn't afford those things, she was a mechanic with a job and a large debt to boot. "I have to call Plutt," she watched his face twist for a brief moment - a cold flash of anger, it made her worry so her next words were softer as if it would lessen the blow. "So that I won't get fired.. _Sir._ " And then the anger, it seemed to pass, at least on his expression. He didn't seem to realize he was still white knuckling the bed rail. 

"Rey you.." He turned his gaze _fully_ to her and then an understanding was unwinding behind his gaze that looked at her so affectionately. His gaze made her skin warm, why'd the man have to be such a handsome stranger?

He looked like a man in love, but that was impossible - no one loved her. Or did they?

She turned back to face him, she opened her mouth to speak but two doctors entered and she felt what she had to say could wait. She felt his hand tighten on hers in what she assumed was reassurance and this time, she didn't shake it off.

"Ah, so the sleeping beauty has _finally_ awoken," he gave a hearty laugh and introduced himself as Dr. Mikita. "This important looking fellow is my boss, Chief Medicine Dr. Datoo," he glanced through her chart but set it aside and looked over to the man at her side who seemed to stay possessively close by. 

"Please hubby, let me look at your girl - I promise to be gentle."

"Only if you want them too" His gaze glanced down to the hand over hers, but rather than let go, she spotted an impassive look on their face. Was it now that he thought she would recognize and recall everything? 

"I guess," she began, but he didn't budge from his spot, like he already knew she was filled with quick answers and not decisions. It came a minute later. "I mean yes, it's.. fine." She _guessed_ \- she looked over his frame half in wonder if he thought he could wrestle them out of the room on her behalf. And then, when she snuck one more look at him she saw the expression pass over his features.

Well, he definitely could and would have too.

Then he relented and leaned back into his chair, slumping with a leg crossed over his knee. He held his ankle and the sleeve of his black jacket held a _nice_ looking watch. He was like a big guard dog, but when he spotted her gaze his expression always seemed to soften. It made her face feel a few degrees warmer. 

All the basics came forward with Dr. Mikita - he asked her how she felt and was given a glass of water to check her throat. Then he checked her eyes, nose and throat before explaining they had been anticipating this date for a while now. She was told that she expressed signs of waking up which came as a _miracle_ \- a word that sent a frown across _his_ face and a roll of the eyes from the Chief of Medicine. She gave a _small_ wordless nod in response to them, but Dr. Datoo stepped forward and stayed at the foot of her bed.

"Rey." She looked over at him and felt his cold _icy_ hands hold her foot. His thumb pressing into the center of her foot while the fingers grasped over. It made her toes curl in response, she assumed he was checking for sensation, but it made her uncomfortable and it was an action she wanted to pull back from. 

"When is your birthday?"

A sharp inhale came from her chest - one she hoped no one noticed as her mind searched and found little help. Now that she had some water, she tried once more. 

"Hopefully soon?" It was a joke, one meant for laughs but when she looked to both the doctors and then _him_ she found no one was laughing. No one had to say anything, she felt the judgement pass. She.. She didn't like that.

Her discomfort was on her face, easily annoyed, but none of the men seemed to shrink under her gaze. Another annoyance. 

"Do you remember your full name?"

"Of course I do it's Rey," her mouth was running ahead of her. 

_Uh oh_.

Her shoulders tense and she felt herself _stiffen_ . Yeah - yeah she should at least know that, it wasn't something anyone had to remember. "Rey.. Rey-" She didn't know what was worse, being wrong or that they were all being _so_ patient as if they knew something she didn't. 

She gave a nervous laugh and sat up, but every fiber in her body wanted to run. Her breathing was a little quicker and she glanced to the door which was blocked somewhat by Dr. Mikita and then the window just over the shoulder of …??? 

"Do you know who is sitting next to you?" 

Her attention fell on him, he sat forward with his arms resting on his knees, hands slacked. His expression held far less judgement - but the guilt she felt did little to relieve her. 

If she could run and get away, she could be alone with her thoughts. At least in theory, a small voice _inside_ her said that would be a mistake as she would just panic. Her eyebrows lifted, "I'm.. So sorry," her voice held a small shakey little tremor and she felt a tear slide across her face as her own heart betrayed her. She wiped at it quickly. 

_No_ , she did not _want_ to cry.

"I'm sorry," her gaze dropped downward, crestfallen. "I don't remember you." She reached her limit then and there, pulling her feet back and closer to herself. _RunRunRun_.

"He is -"

"No more questions, that will be all for today." 

A stern voice came at her right side as he seemed so much more reserved now that it was addressing them and not her. She swallowed and kept her face down and realized that yes, _yes_ she was still pretty tired and if he could get rid of these then so be it.

"We should run another scan and-" Dr. Mikita rebutted and then she felt a swift rise from him.

"I _said_ that will be all for today." And she knew then judging by the tone, he probably had more to say but was holding it in. It was something she felt thankful for, he could handle business without it devolving into a fight.

"Do you want any water?" She shook her head and tried to stifle her tears. The whole ordeal, of waking up and feeling put on the spot. She realized a large portion of it was that she was afraid.. Afraid because she didn't know. "Hey.. It's okay, I got you." He was closer now, sitting on the edge of her bed. 

When she turned, she found his nearness came with warmth. He was warm and receiving, her arms naturally finding their way around his head while his enveloped her into a gentle hug that felt more like a cradle. The carefulness brought on a small smile between the tears, one that she kept masked in his shoulder. "Anything you need Rey," his voice at this range was like a gentle rumble and he smelled like spiced wood. 

"Why are you so nice to me?" He didn't tighten his hold, but the way his hands moved about her felt as if he didn't know where to settle on. 

Everything about him was so soothing. "I don't _even_ know your name." So why would he want to stay if she couldn't give him anything in return?

"It's Ben, _there_ , now you know." It felt like it solved everything and she felt the large hand caress her entire back, small circles and it was soothing. It felt like balm to her frayed nerves. 

She was by his ear with a gentle huff before deciding to ask.

"Can you take me home Ben?"


	2. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is home from the hospital but it's taking a hard time to readjust. 
> 
> Ben asks her for another chance to make everything right again..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dished out chapter 1 and 2 today. It's going to be a slow build before stuff comes to light.

His hold on her noticeably tightens and just by the feel of his sturdy chest she can tell that he's happy to comply. He makes two calls and she knows that because he told her so, a few times in fact, but she realized he wasn't going to be the first one to let go.

So she untangles herself from slowly and it gives him just enough strength to stand up. She hears just a stern command, "Bring the car around." And then another, but it's a little soft and reassuring. "Yeah, yeah, we're going home tonight." She bites the inside of her bottom lip briefly in thought - over who it could be, until he explains "that was my mother, she wanted to know when you would be coming home" and of course that makes sense. 

"Right, I imagine she's worried about you," Rey is sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing. That's about all she can do before she feels the floor come close enough to kiss it.

And yet, she hadn't. 

He'd close the gap and even at an awkward angle, he managed his left arm around his waist clutching at her side. Then her bottom is back on the bed and she realizes that it isn't just him flustered, it's her too. His hands come to rest on her arms, not because she'll run she thinks, but that he needs it too.

"No.. She's only worried about you," he seemed focused enough to correct that and it strikes her strange. That the relationship with his mother is so strained he wouldn't let it slide - granted, there's a lot missing and a  _ lot _ she's likely to get wrong. 

"Also," he exhales and his breath brushes her face lightly, it smells like strong coffee and that red hot spicy gum to mask it, except now it is just a sweet mix. "You probably have some muscle atrophy, the physical therapist said you'll get your strength in time." 

She lets him in, nodding, bringing an arm around him and finds that he can lift her just fine. Rey knows she doesn't weigh much and even less likely now, but she's still impressed at being held up so high and he doesn't look strained at all. 

"You really believed I would wake up, didn't you?" Which strikes her again as strange because from what little she's gathered, he doesn't look like the type to expend much on faith just logic and facts. 

"Well of course, you're a fighter Rey," and his eyes twinkle a little when he says that. When her head hits his shoulder lightly, he begins walking. 

"You seem to know a lot about me, more than myself." But she doesn't get a response and wonders if she's being insensitive. 

She's tired, but not sleepy, exhausted but bordering restless and she wonders if it will be possible to sleep. If she's slept for two years, doesn't that mean she won't have to, for awhile? 

Her hand comes to rest in front of her but she feels comfortable enough to slide them in the front of his jacket. He sucks in some air through his teeth before she hears a small chuckle.

"You still always manage to surprise me,  _ Rey _ ," his words flourish her and she's just as surprised the hospital isn't huge. It looks like a private one, something else she wouldn't be able to afford. A faceless man is holding the door open to a sleek black SUV. 

It isn't until they're in the car on the way to her  _ home _ that she  _ can _ fall asleep. It's brief and a dreamless one, but something about waking up to a pair of warm arms sets her at ease. "Are we home?" She slurs a little and finds that big hand pressing against the center of her back.

"Yes, don't worry, I got you." 

And sure enough he does, because she's back in that dreamless state. 

By morning, she wakes to more energy and the smell of breakfast. Hunger is hitting her before her eyes open, but this time the room she is in isn't a sterile hospital room. It looks more like a bedroom, with a large bed and her in the middle of it. There's a white vanity mirror in the left corner and the place looks spacious enough that she's wondering what the rest of the house looks like.

When she pulls the covers away, she finds she's wearing a pair of white pajama bottoms and a matching shirt over - except her hospital gown is underneath. It's confusing at first but she realizes that perhaps it was just Ben's way of being careful with her. She pulls it off from underneath and the buttons snap away before balling it up. 

And then she gets out of bed, intent on bartering for food with whoever has any, but ends up on the floor with a loud  _ thump  _ and an  _ oof _ that leaves her.

Right.. Muscle atrophy. Which meant her legs need some more meat and muscle and to be put to use before they'll actually start working again. 

"Rey?!" A panic voice is behind the door and then more explanation. "I heard something fall, are you alright??" 

"Yeah," she grunts to at least sit up on her hip and prop herself against the bed. "It was me, I  _ fell _ ," and then the door swings open  _ so _ fast that they both take a moment to just look at each other. 

"I smelled breakfast," she begins.

"I was going to bring it- did you hurt yourself??" His eyes are slightly wide and he's at her side while speaking, squatting and assessing her. The way his hands pass over her thighs and legs in search of pain and she blushes a little, not because of modesty but for being fussed over. 

"Mmm," her nose is up near the front of his shirt, "you smell like bacon." He's picking her up now, muttering something like  _ you don't belong on the floor _ before her words register and she sees the tips of his ears and face warm with color. 

"Well, I made you an omelet, I was going to bring it," a breakfast in bed, he seems to turn a little more colorful shade of red at it being spelled out.

"Really?" He doesn't miss the way her eyes light up and when she feels him staring, she smiles a little more. "Can we eat downstairs? I don't want to stay in bed all day." 

He gives a huff, but  _ readily _ turns to carry her out. "Something tells me you wouldn't anyways." So he could be smart too.

She's seated at a kitchen table and no, she didn't miss how big the place was. The table is a white marble and he sets everything down, a white plate and a beautiful yellow omelet with pieces of bacon to it. It's paired with a small cup of sliced fruit and a half cup of orange juice. 

"Ben," he is seated across from her and she spots his plate isn't as presented as hers. There's a pile of scrambled eggs and extra bacon with cut avocado, but he went for serving size over presentation. He has a hand under his coffee cup, which looks small in that big paw and it is halfway to his mouth when he utters a "hm?" In response.

"Do I take a picture to preserve the image of this before I eat it?" He scoffs into his cup of coffee in response but Rey doesn't miss how it lingers on him, that small little glee. 

When she takes the first bite, she's short of a moan into the melty egg and cheese mixture. Every other compliment comes up short and she's halfway through her omelet before she recalls the cut fruit. It's a soft peeled orange and small apple pieces. She partially wonders if he hired a chef but the open spaced kitchen behind him looks used. 

When she finishes her meal, she settles back into seat to relax. And with her stomach full, it begins to gnaw at her - everything she doesn't know. 

"What are we?" She hates how the question is posed, but he doesn't seem as pressed about it. 

"That depends," He sets the cup down and looks back at her. "On how much you know." It isn't a question, but she feels so small under the intensity of his gaze. 

She recalls growing up,  _ hellish _ and her job,  _ mediocre _ but in none of it did she recall the handsome wealthy man who took to her, doted on her and cared for her.

_ He could have anyone _ .

She looks down into her empty plate and thinks  _ yea, should have taken a picture _ .

"Dr. Mikita said you're my husband  _ but" _ its not possible, maybe. It's starting to feel like it's not impossible. 

"That's not what I asked," her gaze flies to him, replaying the conversation in her head before slumping. 

She thinks, no, she  _ wishes _ she would have waited a little longer before having this conversation. It's too late now.

"I don't even remember the accident, the last thing I remember was.. Being at the laundry station and I.  _ I think _ I was talking to someone - I was happy? I had good news, but that's all." And she draws silent. "I don't even remember the accident, but I don't remember you," she swallows "at all."

He exhales and runs the tip of his finger over the rim of his cup. "Well," and it's here where she expects the conversation to sour. "You  _ did _ just come out of a coma, give it time." 

She deflates -  _ really?  _ That was all? "But what about.. Us? If we're married and I don't remember, what if I never remember?" She's surprised that her voice can go so loud so  _ quickly _ and yet she doesn't like how vulnerable she's becoming. 

He's so calm and expectant of everything and maybe the doctors told him and he had time to prepare, but she feels unsettled and is only just now grappling with it. 

" _ Rey _ ," she meets his warm gaze, it looks a little bleary. "Why not just give me another chance?" His hand reaches for hers, his thumb sweeping across the top of it before bringing it to his lips. 

"For  _ what _ ," what could he possibly want that she could give?

"To fall in love with me  _ again _ ," and she doesn't miss the way his eyes crinkle with so much life and how young he looks when he smiles. "I'll get to do everything right this time," and she sniffles back the tears. That's twice now she's felt her wall crumble. His patience makes her feel at ease and the words fumble around in her head, tugging at her heart. 


	3. III.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a visit for some in home therapy. Lemme tell ya, its expensive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeelll, little bit of a delay between posting chapters. So I wanna go ahead and say FinnRose are a thing (I really love HuxRose too) but I need Hux for something else later and I feel like for THIS particular story he wont be a good fit for Rose. With that said, its ghastly how they disregarded the pair in TROS so.. here's fanfic magic where they are a thing

She's on the couch -  _ per her request _ . 

Occasionally she hears a clink or two that reminds her that this dream boat of a husband is in the kitchen cleaning up for the  _ both _ of them. 

She  _ knows _ that there isn't much she can do  _ yet _ as Ben's reminded her a few times now. It's just not as easy to relax and her thoughts feel scattered. 

To remember, to  _ not _ remember - it feels a bit frightening and so, for the time being, she finds herself just along with the flow. There's still a million questions nagging at her: the who, what, when and where of it all, but here on the couch she feels lackadaisical and content from the food and care. 

She's clutching a pillow, eyes on the surface wall of the house and notes there are very few frames. It's modern, black furniture and eggshell white colored walls, but it's open and airy. There's thick white curtains that are pulled back to let the light pour in and a soft breeze that doesn't smell like recirculated air. 

And yet, she feels very,  _ very _ tired - wondering if it was the big meal she ate or how safe she feels or -

" _ Rey, _ " he's squatting down in front of her, but she doesn't move or answer him. She's still a little in a dream world and soon enough she feels a warm hand enveloping her elbow and his thumb cradling the inner part of her arm before dragging down to her hand. "Are you sleepy? Want to go back to your room?" And when he takes her hand, she finds his touch a bit more featherlight. 

The sensation makes her hum a little, like the beginning of a song. Then she realizes, a little more wakeful than before that he's waiting  _ patiently  _ on her. "No," there must have been something in her tone that didn't seem believable because he's stroking the side of her head next.

He  _ must _ know she finds it relaxing, he has to know.

"How about coffee?"

The promise of caffeine perks her up just a little bit more and he seems disappointed when she's sitting up, but he helps right her wordlessly and she wonders if she should correct his helpfulness now or - . 

"Coffee sounds amazing right now." 

She's still holding onto his arms when she looks over to his face to find it closer than usual and well, she decides then it isn't worth telling him now. Maybe later… Maybe.

He places the white mug carefully into her hands while the other holds cream, sugar and his empty dark blue mug he has yet to pour. When he settles in, he takes the chair to her right and begins drinking it - strong and black.

"I have a Doctor and Physical Therapist coming later today, although I can reschedule if you like." He blows against his cup and drinks it somewhat hot, while she is content to hold the warmth in her hand and cradle it for the time being.

"No, that sounds amazing - who are they?" Something tells her that he isn't the type of man to just pick them out of a phone book. It's almost like he can sense her thoughts when he shoots her a glance, but otherwise he isn't staring at her.

"She's Dr. Rose Tico and the physical therapist is her husband, Finn Tico." He  _ isn't _ looking at her this time, but she dismisses it and takes a sip of her drink. 

"They're a pair? That's kind of.. cute." She searches her words and decides it's the best fit. "Will you.. be around when they're here?" She tries to mask the hopefulness in her voice, but Rey can't dismiss her emotions so easily. She's wary of being looked after by the same cold, empty stares the two men had.

"Yes?" His brow is lifting slightly, looking at her and she realizes he  _ can't _ really read her or her thoughts, it's a silly relief but she sighs a little and he follows up, "unless you don't want me too?" 

"No, oh I mean yes, I want you present, please," her cheeks warm a little and she finally takes in her drink. 

It is  _ after _ coffee that Rey realizes a little later meant ten minutes. A knock comes to the door and Ben is at it, speaking and then he's gesturing to the front room. "She's right in here," and now he seems a little different than before, more on guard even.

A petite woman comes in, wearing a light green drab colored scrub set that goes well against olive complexion. Her black hair is tied back neatly into a low bun. She's younger than Rey anticipated but before she can settle, there's another energy next to the woman. 

Her eyes move to settle on a brown skinned man, whose face alone holds a natural glow. His smile is strong and bright, equal parts infectious enough that Rey has found herself smiling back genuinely in return. 

"You must be Rey," a strong voice comes with an extended hand for a shake, one that she takes as he resumes the lead in introducing themselves. When her hand touches his, she feels more at ease and hopeful - maybe, they can start right away and she can return to whatever normal is.

"I am and you're Finn, right? It's nice to meet you. Both of you." He lets go and looks to see both Ben and Rose nearby,  _ patiently _ waiting for their turn.

"Likewise, ah right, this is Dr. Rose Tico, she specializes in well, everything but especially the tinker," his finger is tapping against his temple and Rey's gaze turns to Rose.

"Maybe, not.. Crowd the patient, Finn?" Rey lets out a small chuckle, as Finn takes a small step back with a small  _ oh right _ . Rose is in view again and at Ben's gesture the two take a seat after shaking hands. 

"You'll have to forgive him, he's a little eager when it comes to stuff like this." She watches as Rose passes Finn a look, but it seems closer to affection and understanding. Rey's starting to see why Ben had single handedly picked them. It makes all the apprehension she had, melt away.. Partially. The other half remains because of  _ herself _ \- what if she lets everyone down. 

"He is good -you know, don't let him sell himself short. I've seen a lot of bad cases that others gave up on," Rose begins and somewhat pauses. 

"Ah, they were just misguided is all," Finn interjects. "But yours isn't as bad as you think, don't worry Rey, we have a plan. We'll get through this." 

Her hands come to rest in front of her, wringing a little. There's that little nudge against her innermost self that says if she fails, they'll all just leave. She's a broken  _ mess,  _ but it feels too shameful and pathetic to cry. Everyone seems so hopeful, but what if she lets them down? She wrings her hands a little tighter and nods, but she doesn't look up either and she feels her heart hammering in both her chest and blood rushing in her ears.

Plutt's voice breaks through  _ you're just another fucking failure! _

And then she stiffens in surprise, to find Ben beside her.  _ Oh _ , she  _ is _ crying - great. "I don't want to waste anyone's time," she sobs and finds refuge in Ben's shirt, staining it with damp tears and frustration, to hide her shame that he easily accepts. "I don't want to let you guys down. I don't want to be a failure." She gushes her words until she finds a hand settling on her back, her face feels ten degrees hotter than everything. 

When she settles through the emotions she rubs at her face until some tissue is placed in her hand. When she looks over she mutters a soft  _ sorry _ . 

"You're not a waste of our time, Rey," Rose's voice is tight and she seems slightly teary eyed, but she smiles lightly and it's comforting in its own way.

Finn is holding his wrist with his own hand, perhaps to fight back the physical urge to reach out. "There is no failure in trying Rey, I won't lie and say that it will be easy, but I promise you that no one here will give up on you." His gaze doesn't leave her face. "So don't go giving up just yet." 

This time she nods and feels imbued with a little more strength and courage than before. 

"I can see why he picked you both," she sniffles a little and rubs at her face. She wants to feel silly about crying, but doesn't feel judged enough to do so. 

"Well, I guess that's one right thing I've done so far." She looks to Ben to find that he has made.. a joke? He's sitting a little closer now and leans forward to turn and look at her, but his gaze looks to her. His long leg is touching up against hers, his thighs warm. "I wait for you, as long as it takes. You can't get rid of me." 

_ His hands cage her from behind, mouth pressed to her ear as she kicks and screams until a hand seals her mouth. "You couldn't hide forever, not from me Rey. Did you think you could get rid of me?"  _

She inhales deeply and breathes out, feeling light as she does. Then turns to look over at the two. "When do we begin?"


	4. Pool.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey begins her therapy, its a Day 1 thing and Ben, well Ben is always around. Isn't that great?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! so stoked for every kudos, comment, bookmarks and interactions. its great that other people are interested in this story as well. here's chapter 4 weee!

They have an indoor pool.

A  _ heated _ indoor pool, the kind she's seen in gyms - except this one seems crystal clear and well cared for. 

She'd take the time to appreciate when she isn't desperately holding onto Finn - whose smile would  _ normally _ set her ease - now only serves to remind her how she isn't.. very calm.

Her hands hold to his arms  _ tightly _ , the solid muscle that feels like the only anchor to keep her from going head under. And yeah, she shouldn't be  _ too _ worried, but it's hard when she doesn't feel like she can trust and truly let go.

"Easy Rey, I got you - sweat and even if I didn't -"

"No _ no  _ dont let go!"

"The life vest will." He finishes despite her own banter. "Besides, I will catch you - if Mr. Solo doesn't somehow manage to get to you first." 

Her gaze turns to the side of the pool to find Ben has his legs in, he is leaning forward and his arms and chest are flexed in a tight long-sleeved rashguard of a suit.  _ What a shame _ she thinks, wishing to see him bare chested. Her cheeks fill with color and then returns her gaze back to Finn. 

The distraction has calmed her down long enough that she loosens her grip, but keeps it present. "That's great Rey. You're vitals look good, I'll keep an eye on it from here." Rose speaks and she is briefly made aware that the Dr. has opted out of joining them in the pool. Instead, she is sitting on a low chair with a tablet in hand that is connected to an arm-band monitor located on Rey's left arm. 

"At least the water isn't cold," it's a soft remark and by the time she thinks about it - she realizes herself that she is.. much calmer. There's a small glint in Finn's eye that seems to show a knowing. 

"Well we know you have sensation in your legs," he explains and she watches his expression change from one of a smile to a studious type. "The problem isn't elsewhere, it's just about building muscle and reminding the brain that you have them." She smiles a little at that and glances down, over the puffy orange vest to her feet. "But we want to start  _ slow _ ," he's meeting her gaze now and she realizes that he wants to drive that part home. 

"At this point what you're used to being able to do and what you  _ want _ to do are completely separate. So we're going to give them a workout but a slow one and Rose will tell me what your heart rate is at, then we'll work from there." 

"Let's start with some bicycle kicks, just one knee up and then kick down, then the other, like this." He's still cradling her arms underneath his, but there's enough space for him to give a little demo.  _ It seems easy enough _ and as she begins he gives off a count  _ 1...2.. great keep going.. 6.. okay 9. _

And then Rose chimes in "132.. 135.." It's only under a minute before she hears "165, Finn." And the exercise demo comes to a stop - her face is slightly colored from exertion. 

"This is a good target area to be in. You got here faster today but as you get stronger it'll take longer." There's a small break in between - with Rose making small little notes along the digital pad, asking how she feels and if she wants to go again. The practice resumes for a total of five minutes, each time the exertion seemingly takes a small toll on her. And it drives home the reminder that this isn't some dream she'll wake from - her body really does feel as if she has just been laying around..

"Oh yeah, one more thing before I forget, Mr. Solo? If you could come here," he tilts his head toward Rey and the motion itself sends Ben into the water, but at the height there in - he simply wades over. "I like to make an effort to get friends and family involved - in this case,  _ you. _ " 

She can't help but feel like one of those floaty pool toys when she's passed off to Ben, but she keeps her head tilted down to hide her small smile. His arms are in her pits, holding her up and it sends her hands awkwardly to his chest - which feels solid…

"No _ no _ , not like that - you are here to support her like a brace, not carry her," like some infant, but her mind supplies it. "We want a straight spine, so hands under her arms." It begins to feel more like a dance when his hands come under her forearms and holds her by her elbows. Her shoulders untense from being scrunched and the relief must show on her face immediately because his deep voice comes gently.

"Does that feel better?" And she nods, wordlessly in reply. It's far different from being carried when  _ that _ came out of necessity and she was near enough that she didn't have to see him, but like this, just near enough to constantly be aware of him.. It's so much different. She has to tilt her head back a little to look up at him and his gaze dips to her mouth and eyes but she's the first to look away because it's.. intense and a bit too much.

"Remember this, okay? It will help yield the maximum results without injuries." She comes out of her drawn trance and is reminded that yes, Finn  _ and  _ Rose are still.. There. And then she recalls the heart monitor and looks quickly to Rose! Did she know? 

The woman gives a  _ knowing _ smile and turns to touch her pad. "Let's call it here for today, Rey? I'll stay in contact, you have my number and Finn's if you have questions or need anything." 

She doesn't hide that she is a  _ little _ disappointed that this was all she could do for today. "Will I see you again tomorrow?" And the woman pauses putting on her coat to hand Finn a towel. He's the first to emerge from the water lifting himself with one arm and a foot before rising up. 

"We'll be here everyday for this week," he wraps the towel around himself and turns to Rey and Ben who are still in the pool. "Then we'll go from there," it's another wait and see approach, but it's enough to appease her… For now. They say their goodbyes and take their leave after Finn dried off and changed back into his scrubs. It isn't as if Ben couldn't afford to keep them, but more than likely they had other people to see. 

She's still in the pool, holding onto Ben when she comes back to her senses. "Well? What would you like to do?"

"I wouldn't mind staying in, but honestly that work out was pretty tiring," and she feels a  _ little _ shame in how he's so willing to spoil her, but not enough to turn away from his enabling behavior. 

"Then how about you hold onto me while I swim?" It's an offer that she takes him up on, but when the life vest inhibits her ability to hold on - she forsakes it without a second thought. It's only when her chest is pressed to his strong back and her arms around his neck that he takes them from one end to the next. 

"I'm starting to see how the gingerbread man got eaten so easily," she mutters it aloud  _ right _ by his ear and at this range..

"Who?" His hand touches the end of the pool and he turns to look over his shoulder. 

"Nothing, just an intrusive thought. Forget I said anything," she feels a small blush creep along her face. It won't work, even she cant ignore the imagery and story in her head. "You know, its that kids story about how the gingerbread man wants to cross the water and the fox offers him a ride across?"

"Does that mean I'm the sly fox?" His head tilts to look over his shoulder, but she slinks back into the center: a potential blindspot. She doesn't want him to see her face. There's an uncomfortable amount of silence in the air afterwards. 

"Everyone loves to blame the fox for winning but maybe the gingerbread had no business being so tasty." His hand slides down the length of her arm before he holds onto it securely, his large hand over hers.. And now that she cant see his face  _ either _ it dawns on her, she doesn't know what sort of expression he holds.

Her laugh is a little uneasy, "What? Ben it's just a story. I don't really know why it came to mind," she's flustered, all too easily. She can't pull away without going under, but not being able to see what expression he's making is… uncomfortable as well. She berates the kid's story in her mind and how the conversation got away from her, but another part of her wants to press for more information. 

"Well what do you think Rey?" A pause.

"Would you go along the ride if you  _ knew. _ " 

Her brows furrow at how  _ different _ his voice seems, it's cold and uneven, even his shoulders feel stiff. 

"I think," and she pauses to chew on her bottom lip then feels more resolved as the answer comes to her. "If you're the fox.. Then yes." 

There isn't anything else said after, just the slaps of water from the pool. His body is tense like a cord, but it too disappears and soon after she feels his thumb pressing into the center of her palm. "You're shivering," it's an observant mark, she knew she should have gotten out after Finn and Rose left, but she stayed anyways.

"Let's get you warmed up," it's a small shift but she's finally able to come toward his front and then his hands come to bring her up and out until she's sitting outside the pool, feet still in. And then Ben is lifting himself out of the water arms first, a small flex of strength as he tucks in a sturdy leg and then another, fetching them both towels. She wraps a light blue one around her and settles into her own thoughts. 

She never did get a good look at his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I worked part time in physical therapy and its way different on that side than the patient side, with that said I hope the story doesn't feel slow or sluggish? I dont think it would be right to blow past her recovery, but at the same time it wont be forever because this is fanfic haha. there will probably be time jumps ahead, but nothing too drastic.


	5. Ginger Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You should never bite the hand that feeds. Especially for Rey, who learns that said hand is attached to a certain man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention that I want to reach a HEA with this one, even if its a little twisted. 
> 
> I'll also be honest and say the darkfic might be more tame than what stories is out there. This isn't intended to be gut-wrenching for the sake of it (not that other said fics are! There's some really amazing fics out there!) 
> 
> BUT, I still want to tag and warn because obviously what I enjoy, others might not.

Rey is brought to a walk in shower, it's spacious enough that there's a built in wooden bench, with room to spare. Her left hand comes to the center of her wet shirt that's material is more like a rashguard and shorts. There's a long zipper that she can't quite reach so she turns just at the waist and offers herself up like a present.

"Can you help?" 

His fingers twitch in response and he steps forward, but ends up kneeling down in front of her. 

"Rey, there's another woman here who can.. Help you with this." He seems to stretch out his words and she doesn't miss the way his gaze drops to her bare thighs and up again. It's true that Rose had helped her into her swimsuit during a private examination and she could use the faculties just fine. It's just, she didn't have  _ enough  _ strength in her legs to stand. 

The remark sends color flooding to her face, "Well - I mean, you're my husband, right? Its.. It's okay," her eyes wander past his shoulder and to the damp hair that's slicked back. Her hand is held to her chest, one last guard is her body and privacy. "You've.. already  _ seen  _ it-I mean," deep breath, what's the big deal? "Everything." She stutters it but it gets through.

His throat bobs with a slight swallow, but he's back to sounding so sure. "Yes, but you're uncomfortable and that's okay." His hand sweeps a bit of hair off her forehead and tucks it aside. "I hired a woman to help you with these things, so you don't have to bare it." 

"She'll have to be strong," her mind immediately goes to Rose's grace and strength and she realizes then and there she meant physical strength. 

  
  


"I  _ am _ strong," and then two taps come to the door as  _ a bit _ late of an introduction. Yet there stands a blonde woman with an air of boldness, she meets Ben's gaze with  _ one _ look before settling her attention to Rey.

"This is Phasma," and the woman rolls her eyes.

"I can introduce myself," but a small  _ little _ smirk touches the blonde woman's features. "You  _ are _ protective." She can't see too much of Ben’s, but either way, it seems Phasma has lost interest in the game.

"Well now, let's get you out of those wet clothes and into a hot shower," and when Ben doesn't move she clears her throat with somewhat of an obvious annoyance. " _ Quickly _ ." 

It's when Ben finally stands to meet her gaze, that Rey gets a good idea of how  _ tall _ the woman is. She's surprised to see that she's taller than Ben - which doesn't help and she wonders if she's just… shorter than she thought of herself.

"I'll get started on lunch - how about a sandwich? Some chips?" It's the simplicity of the order that brings Rey's thoughts forward, namely on food.

"Yes please, with extra pickles and mustard?" He gives a nod and she spots the way his mouth had twitched at her request. When he leaves, she assumes he probably has another shower.

"Right well, if you don't mind. Let's get started," and just like that Phasma gets to work as if this is such a natural thing to do: to care for another. When she's sitting on a shower chair and the warm water is falling over her, she takes a final moment to sigh. 

"Better?" Phasma speaks and Rey groans half heartedly in reply, confirming it. The woman is sitting a bit away on a dry stool, half glancing at her nails but otherwise attentive. 

"Will you be staying with us?" She asks and reaches for the shampoo nearby, its tempting to ask for a scalp massage but Rey is ready to try her hand at doing stuff for herself. 

"There's a guest room for me,  _ Re-  _ Solo thought it would be a good idea if I roomed with you but I felt it's important for you to have your own space." She nods and keeps her eyes closed, assuming the correction to his name was nothing more than a tongue twist.

"He seems to think of everything I need, I don't really know how he does it." Rey's more sheepish with her tone and rinses the shampoo from her hair before it can crawl into her eyes. 

"Well, he had a lot of time to think about it."

The conversation ends there, not because of interest, but because her spirit has whimpered a little. Its after finishing up that Phasma comes through again, drying her off and setting her back on the bench with a towel. She's helped into a soft pair of grey cotton pants and shirt and by the time her hair is blowed dried for her - the hunger has set in. 

It's a little different being carried by Phasma than Ben. The woman promises  _ not _ to drop her and Rey, for the  _ most _ part believes those words to be true. 

Phasma is a little more daring on the turns - enough that Rey lets her laugh slipped thru and is teased for the mousey squeak she emitted. The playfulness is enough to distract her that she almost misses seeing Ben on a phone call or at least the end of it. 

When the call ends with an abrupt ' _ yeah _ ', she finds herself curious to know and asks, parting a  _ thanks  _ to Phasma as she is set down into a chair. 

The table is prepared and the sandwich is visually appealing, pre-cut and criss cross like a presentation. The bread looks soft enough, airy and light. Her setup is always neat looking than his -

"Who was that?" And she takes a quick bite, finding that she's been  _ hungry _ since before the shower when he mentioned food.

"Just a solicitor," he dismisses and joins Rey from behind. He's behind her and gives her chair a little scoot toward the table. He bends near her ear and it makes her skin warm, her senses filling up with the mild cologne like soap he used to shower with. 

"I made you some ginger tea, to help warm you up." And in her quest for a drink she brings it to her lips for a warm sip. It's when the hot liquid pouring down her throat that she recalls the earlier discussion but he gives her a simple smile. "Good?" She nods.

He doesn't seem petty enough about the gingerbread story to hold a grudge, right??

She's four bites in when she hears Phasma speak.

"Well I'll be around, page me if you need anything." The blonde is readjusting a smartwatch to her wrist. Another smart watch is slipped out of her pocket and given to Rey or more like placed on her personally by Phasma herself.

"That isn't really necessary - I could get her a phone and," Ben begins but he's cut off and Phasma's tone is more sharp and curt with him than it is with Rey.

"But you didn't think of  _ everything _ , now did you?" She's a little smug and maybe its just Rey's imagination but there's a small twitch on Ben's face. He exudes a pensiveness and tightness, like trying to restrain something inside, but he ends up with a tight smile that disappears seconds after arriving.

Her face twists in visible confusion, "You're not hungry??" Isn't everyone hungry all the time or is that just her? And well, she doesn't  _ enjoy _ how tense the air is.

" _ N _ o." Not one for any fake pleasantries, Phasma leaves out the door and in her aftermath there's a stillness in the air.

Rey  _ wants _ to fill the air with conversation, anything would do, but she just ends up inside her own head. She could ask about a million things, but rather than ask, she wants to know for herself. 

She's finished her sandwich and moved onto the salty crisp chips - a loud  _ crunch  _ breaks Ben from his brood. It's here she decides to lead with, 

"Can I get a phone?"

"What? Why?"

She slows mid _ crunch _ and looks at him, his surprise, surprises her. 

"Well I figured I could look stuff up instead of having to bother you-"

"You don't  _ bother  _ me, Rey,"

His tone makes her stomach a little.. gooey. He's sounding more stern and a little provoked, perhaps Phasma had a deeper effect than she gave credit.

"..If you can't do it, just say  _ so _ ," wait  _ shit _ she wasn't looking to fight too. "You must like it, keeping me in the dark-"

"Look at me," a _ h  _ its too late now. She's just as irritated as he is. 

"Nevermind-" She  _ doesnt _ look at him, knowing her resolve to stay defiant would deflate. 

" _ Rey _ ," he calls her name differently now, like a growl and her heartbeat picks up a few extra beats. No, now she definitely  _ wont _ look because she's afraid of what she'll see. 

His hand reaches to grasp her wrist and her heart rhythm nearly squeezes in her chest when she sees the nearness of his face. His eyes are cold, dark and a gasp is caught in her throat. "Ben," but it just falls on deaf ears.

"I  _ WASN'T- _ " and he dials it back in from the boom of his voice, now he simply seethes out the last word. "...asking,  _ you _ ." His grip is tight enough to bruise, if it hasn't already. Rey is simply waiting for what comes next - a strike? A fist?

Instead, Ben's releasing her arm like its a hot coal and the coil tension in her body begins to melt. She wants to cry, but not in front of him. "Nod if you understand," he's a lot more distant, maybe because he's standing upright. Either way she complies, once with a slow nod and then a few more to ensure he seen her. 

And then in the same seething energy, he's leaving with a rough grab of his keys and the door slammed shut. 

And Rey let's out a _brief_ ugly sob, but pockets the rest for later. Her fist tighten. _She'll never forget this_ _feeling._ Of both helplessness _and_ humiliation. 

She takes a deep breath and learns how to page Phasma.


	6. The Cleaner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little sneak peek into Kylos busy work day with his coworker Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely a Kylo POV this chapter of what he does when Rey's not around. It's a little shorter than normal this time. Thanks for all the kudos and comments and bookmarks, I see them all and am always happy to hear that people look forward to this!

"You know I love you  _ owing _ me one and all, but it's not something you can hide from  _ him _ forever." 

He was almost sure there was meant to be a threat in those words, but.. coming from Hux, that was damn near impossible. Nevertheless, his gaze shifted off the glow of his phone and over to the redheaded driver, slow and methodical. It said  _ you have my attention _ but it wasn't the kind Ben that smiled for Rey and was polite in public. It was somber, but not listless - a heated energy in those darkening eyes with a long jagged scar that ran down his face, a scar that Rey didn't seem to acknowledge. 

If he  _ stared _ long enough at a man, he often came undone with all his fidgeting - Hux was even worse when it came to gambling. He didn't possess a poker face, even at work. It made poker games somewhat dull and for a brief moment - Kylo wondered what the purpose of keeping a man like him around. 

All Hux did in his eyes was  _ clean up _ but Snoke appreciated the gingers work and so - 

He wasn't allowed to kill him… Yet. One slip up however, meant another story. And Hux, as dull as he was to Ren, seemed to understand that Ren was  _ thinking _ perhaps even imagining things.

Hux re-gripped the wheel, shoulders somewhat tense and he cleared his throat, swallowing his spit that had pooled in his cheek. "I'm just saying.. That it's not - a good - idea. Ren." 

Why'd Hux have to be the chatterbox type? Sometimes he wondered if he ripped out Hux's vocal box, if he'd live through it. Instead, Kylo extended a hand and settled his palm to clutch tight on the shoulder of Hux. He leaned in, almost affectionately with his voice at a low whisper. 

"Then  _ make sure _ that he doesn't find out, alright?" The red mouse was going to scurry about, say something with that weird stutter but he tightened his hold into a nice bruising grip. "Answer me, if you understand or-"

"Alrightalright, bloody hell, I  _ get it _ ." Hux shook his shoulder loose, but it was only because he let go that the man was truly free. "This is why I hate working with  _ you _ ," the feeling was mutual. 

He'd have stayed in tune to argue some more, but one of them had to end it and if he wasn't so eager to get back to his phone, he'd drive home another point that talking should be kept to radio silence. Now, with a deep breath, Ren sighed and -

"Actually, I'm going to get some tea, do you want coffee?"

"No - wait, yes," and then he paused. "But make it decaf." And then finally, he could unpause the video on his phone. 

It was a video of Rey, briefly looking into her mirror (completely unaware) of the camera that looked back at her. She was  _ still _ as beautiful as the first time he saw her, but now it was so much different. Her hazel eyes and soft slightly parted lips, she seemed a little sad and his thumb brushed along the pixels of her lips and face pausing it and then hitting play. 

Phasma came in and helped her dress for the physical therapy. Yes, he had cameras all around the house, but they were only for Rey and no one else. And he wasn't dumb, they were all offline and hard-line to prevent  _ anyone _ but him from viewing it.

And he wasn't interested in viewing anything particularly private, but it was there because he had to know. He had to  _ ensure  _ she was safe at all times and that no one was treating her wrong. He couldn't trust just anyone with his treasure, people wore mask all the time - he was the prime example. And well, her body was equally beautiful and it wasn't ruled out that he wouldn't look  _ but _ he wanted her in front of him if it happened.

"I _ 'll  _ get a vanilla chai tea and a black coffee with two shots of espresso in it."  _ This fucker _ . 

The phone was closed and set into his pocket. Hux didn't look, knew not to, but he had such an obvious smug when he turned away. He'd remember it for later.

The two arrived at an empty warehouse and sadly, out of necessity of wanting coffee, Kylo had drunk two thirds of the damn venom. Hux parked and brought his tea with him as the two left the unmarked car and entered the warehouse. Slits of light and florescent bulbs illuminated the place. Five other men were present and dressed in suits like Hux and Ren himself. There was a sixth man, tied to a chair that was stationed above clear white plastic, blindfolded.

So the stage had been set.

He approached, rolling his sleeves half way up to the elbow and was handed a black material much like a ski mask that went over. There was some plating that shaped it like a skull, but his eyes could still be viewed. And over his neck was a collar, that pitched his voice like a synthetic tone. And that, perhaps was the most frightening for his victims, to know that an ordinary man was under the mask. Depraved of visuals, Kylo stepped onto the clear plastic and motioned with one hand for the blindfold to come off.

"Del Meeko," he heard the man groan, his eyes squinting in pain and likely exhausted. 

"If you wanted to hire me, you could have just asked." Humor. A great way of deflecting from the obvious horror of what was to come.

"Give me the coordinates to Skywalker," he hears another laugh but its more pained, a little defeated.

"I don't know what you're talking about." And then his hand is reaching through the short hairs that are just long enough to grasp. He yanks back, exposing the throat and leans in further. 

"You know how this works. What it is I can do to you, don't make this harder than it needs to be." His grip relaxes but drags down over Del's face, a barrages of 'pleases' and 'no's' comes thru, but he shushes it softly. 

It's just the calm, before the storm - as pictures blanket his mind and he hears somewhere in the distance of his conscious a man screaming, oh right its Del, resisting it. That's a bad idea, its only  _ more _ painful and can blanket their consciousness. 

Del jerks back, jarring and then slumps over with a glassed eyed look and a drool pooling out of his mouth. Blood had covered his nostrils and Kylos glove, who soon wipes it off and presses it on top of Hux's tea that's on a table. Yeah, out of all that -  _ this _ feels the most satisfying. 

"Well what do we do with him now?"

It's Hux when he comes back to his own senses and turns halfway to look over his shoulder. He doesn't look  _ at  _ Hux, but just in his direction to speak.

"He's yours now. Clean this up."

He walks out and when he reaches the car, he takes a minute before hearing a gunshot and then pulls off the mask. He shakes out his hair and changes his gloves before remembering how stuffy the mask can be. When Hux returns, he's already sitting in the back seat with his legs spread - its more comfortable back here. He's on his phone, touching at the screen and when the car starts moving, Ren finally speaks.

"Drop me off at the mobile store," he supposes it would be good for Rey to have a way to reach him and smooth things over since he's been gone for a little over four days now.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely toiled over writing out the force entirely and having it truly modern, just keep it with guns and brute strength... but idk - I like the Force and find it interesting and unique to Kylo. It will definitely be descaled in terms of power levels, no one will be jumping off buildings and surviving. It's more hush-hush secret.


	7. Sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a little sloshed and Ben is there to pick up the pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm. this one was a little bit of a struggle to write but fun nonetheless.

It's been  _ four _ days of no Ben - a notion that forced Rey to exhale a long, winded sigh. It rung with mild frustration and a childishness to it. From his strong physique and square shoulders and mop of dark hair to those big hands, he was a hard man to lose track of and she already had successfully chased him away. 

The remains of her drink was knocked back, a can of wine, where she forced the last of the wine's contents down her throat as it burned a path to her stomach and left a small ache to it. It made her head spin when she righted herself, but she felt better after slumping into the cushion.

_ Stupid Ben..  _ She muttered partially out loud. Her grip crunched the can with ease, but held onto it and she told herself mentally that she wouldn't have anymore… Probably.

The time apart had lessened the hold of her anger and frustration and now that she had time to reflect.. She was not satisfied with how they had left the conversation or how petty she had been. Picking on him when Phasma had set him off, but more so she did not want  _ that _ to be the last conversation they had - of her, angry at him and each other. 

Worse yet, she didn't know what conversation they had  _ last  _ time before the accident.. She looked forward to her therapy with Finn and Rose as  _ both _ were a wonderful distraction and healing in their own right. Rose had brought comfort in the uncertainty and helped qualm her fears that she might not  _ ever _ remember. Finn wasn't  _ just _ positive, but he helped her believe in herself: she was seeing herself get stronger, as a direct result from that.

Phasma had stepped into the role of overseer, but it only highlighted the emptiness of his absence. There wasn't much to go by, but slips of his face would enter her mind. Like walking through a fog, she began to see pieces back in time.

_ There was a large amusement event going on: was it a carnival, a faire or a city event? Either way, she recalled his extended hand held out to her. "Come on, or else I'll lose you in the crowd," and she recalled rolling her eyes at the statement. "You worry too much ---" _

_ There was a dart throwing game, the one where you popped a balloon and won a prize only if a certain amount were hit. She decided to try her hand and came up one short and she won a silly corn shaped plush. It made her laugh to the point of almost peeing.  _

_ And then she was leaving after the late night fireworks.. "Let me walk you to your car," but.. _

It was kind of fuzzy after that and her head ached something  _ awful. _

Rey found no answers at the end of her drink, only little pieces to a big puzzle. She told herself it would take time and nestled into the corner of a couch with a soft black throw. It smelled like him, maybe he sat on it or slept on it frequently, but for the time being it was hers.

Phasma had joined her for a short while, but couldn't keep up as it wouldn't have been very responsible. One of them needed to work and not have a possible hangover. And no, she did  _ not _ want to go to her room, that too proved to be too isolating. So the couch, tv and wine would do.

And then the anger would return and parts of her just wanted to run away. She wouldn't be a burden or anyone's problem anymore - even if it meant going back to that slimeball Plutt. There was an uninteresting movie on, one that she wasn't too invested in and the storyline was somewhat loose. A guy was having an affair and  _ ugh _ \- she was just about to change it when -

The door opened and she lowered the volume of the tv, sitting up in the low lit room, she gazed toward the darkness, but her vision was kind of bleary. "Phasma? Did you forget-"

And then she paused when she realized who it was. 

____

  
  


He was  _ equally _ surprised too and his voice a little startled. "Rey?" His mouth opened just a little and then closed, a motion he did a few times until he came to his senses. He shut the door behind him gently and placed his keys and wallet into a small clear dish. He carried with him a box in his left hand and approached the couch the girl had nestled herself into.

Already by the way her eyes trailed after him and the way her head tilted back comically he knew something was  _ amiss.  _ She had  _ such _ a sweet giggle that ended with a robust snort, "It hurts my neck looking up like  _ this. _ " So he crouched in response and took a long blink at her current state.

Her cheeks were blushed with a soft pink heat that seemed to creep from her neck and her hazel eyes were glassy, but it was the crushed(?) can of wine in her hand and fruity flavor on her breath that gave away she had been drinking. Alone. He had at least a couple dozen questions, but they were paused when she called his name, "Ben?" 

When his cool hand touched her cheek, she huffed a little and leaned into it, so that he was forced to cradle her head and her eyes closed at the contact. His thumb could reach her arched brow and he took mild interest in what little solace he could offer her.

"Were you waiting up for me, Rey?" 

"Yes," he felt something in his chest squeeze him - was this what they called guilt? Her eyes opened, pupils large and her guard completely lost. "Who else would I be up for?" A coy like smile spread across her lips and she chuckled to a joke he was missing out on. 

Her laugh, caused the corner of his mouth to twitch and crink up. He supposed it was a silly question. And it seemed with it, the filter was off - every passing thought was aired out.

"Your hand feels really good, you know?" Oh  _ no _ , he knew where she might go with this. 

"Rey, where's Phasma?" He wanted to steer her back on something other than him, even if his heartbeat flutter for a minute. 

Her small shoulders shrugged with a bit of emphasis and her hand on the can was tilted until his bigger hand came over the top and took it away carefully before it spilled. He didn't care about the couch, but he'd avoid a mess where he could. "Come on. Let's get you in bed," he held his arms out open to see what sort of temperament she was in. 

And sure enough, what he got was a pair of arms that sank in around his neck in a tight hug. The impact left a bit of  _ oof _ from his chest with the collide. His hand came to rest against the small of her back and he relished the embrace hearing her groan when he rubbed small circle motions. 

And near the shell of his ear, she nuzzled her sweet lips against it. A breathy, "I missed you B _ eeeen _ ," sent a twitch  _ straight  _ to his cock and her lips dragged along his jaw as she readjusted her warm face into his neck. The breath he took next is a little deeper than before, he..  _ hadn't  _ been expecting this, but wasn't that just like her? Always… catching him off guard.

When he stood, her tight hold around his neck fastened her to him. Her body was draped, rather than flushed and Ben brought his arms under her thighs for support - scooting her higher up on his torso. Her legs wrapped behind him, ankles hooking and he half imagined living up to what others expected of him. To press Rey into the couch and push his mouth across every surface area of her.

Instead, his hands and arms were under her thighs for support as he took to the steps slowly. He didn't want to jostle her around and have her puke which was  _ still _ a very real possibility. Finally, he managed the flight of stairs and entered the bedroom, where she traded him in for the cool sheets and pillow. 

It took a bit more coaxing to get her to drink some water before he found he could tend to himself. He settled for his room - not all that ideal, but her frequent groans here and there made him half hard and the journey was taxing enough for the both of them, for very different reasons. 

It would take a few minutes to collect himself - so he removed his dress clothes and draped them over the chair. He had enough foresight to wear a softer dark blue shirt and matching in color satin pajama bottom. By the time he's finished dressing to turn back around, he sees her in the dark resting with her face away, asleep. She's wearing a soft pink camisole and shorts that revealed her bare thighs.

____

Morning comes with the sound of blood rushing in her ears. Her head feels tender and her tongue like sandpaper. And yet when she groans, attempting to turn face down on the bed she  _ bumps _ the body of another. 

It startles her and the slight shriek and gasp spring from her mouth before she makes sense of who it is. 

It's the way his eyes part open, like a slow lifting curtain. Those brown eyes that carry with them so much seem to settle on her quickly. "Did you have a bad dream?" His voice is a little more rough than she recalls and realizes, that she did succeed in waking him. His hand rubs at his face and squinting to glance at his digital watch he checks the time.

From her own angle it reads 11:37 in soft red letters. If he had anything he was late for, it's let go as he exhales deeply until it connects into a yawn. And then, his gaze is back on hers and she's  _ still _ hasn't said a word. 

How'd she get here and what exactly happened last night? She jogs her own memory and begins to wonder if that too is effected as well.. Except, this time, Ben has a slight grin to his features and he really shouldn't look.. so tempting.

She clears her throat and meets his gaze once more. He's clearly getting some amusement out of this, propped up on one hand now on his side, facing her. "Did we.."

"Why not start with what you remember from last night?" 

"I remember watching a show with Phamsa and then you came home.. and carried me here?" But she was hazy on the rest, like fuzzy outlines her mind wasn't putting together.

"I put you in bed and then  _ you _ said you wouldn't sleep until we were  _ both _ in bed." 

As the words leave his mouth, she utters in horror  _ oh no _ .

"And then I got on this side," he draws a free hand between them and it is then that Rey realized she hadn't just encroached upon his share of the bed, but was pressed against him. She was always the type to roll around until comfortable. There's more and she's sure there is by the flicker of light in his gaze, it warms her skin and she wonders if its best to die now without the knowledge or. 

"And then you snored hard enough to shake the bed," with this remark she covers her face and rolls away. A hole, a reeeally deep hole was what she would need to crawl into.

"Ben please!" A loud groan follows her pleas and she can tell he's laughing by the small tremors in the bed. 

And then his arms are reaching out, bundling her up - the window of escape shutting forever. "So to answer your earlier question,  _ no _ , nothing happened."

_ Well of course not _ , why would he even still be attracted to such a mess of a woman? 

"Sadly." He tacks it on, as if he could read her thoughts - and when he rolls her over like a pliable doll, she doesn't resist. He doesn't squeeze her into his chest, but plants his lips to her forehead and the sensation leaves a ghostly effect.

"I could  _ never _ hurt you, Rey," his words are like a small confession, secretly to her. His hand smooths down her arm, another gentle touch that warms the path it left. 

_ But you did, you left  _ she feels her heart supply, but as near as he is - close enough to kiss her the words don't come forward. Instead she's waiting on him and then, his forehead is resting against hers for a moment before he pulls away just enough to look at her. Ben's hand is on her arm, thumb caressing as he gathers his thoughts, privately, she surmises. 

"I don't want to lose you," she studied his gaze, how the color in his eyes darken. His breath is a little tight along with his jaw, a surge of a foreign emotion running through Ben. And she can tell because of how little distance there is. It makes goosebumps along her arm and thighs and her heartbeat pickup a few extra beats, something seems wrong, but she can't understand what it is.

"I'm right here, Ben," and usually when she calls him by his name, he finds her gaze with his own right away. And yet  _ this _ time, he doesn't respond - instead his hand protectively goes to her waist where he gives it a light, but firm squeeze. 

"I  _ know _ ," his deep voice doesn't seem to be speaking at her, just confirming something for himself. "I know," and then he seems convinced and that high strung emotion from before and at the dinner table is gone. 

There's a small beep on her wrist watch and the spell that held them is broken. Truthfully.. She's grateful for the distraction and a little unsettled. He's sitting up and with his back to her, he enters the bathroom. Phasma enters the room and she finds it strange the blonde found her so quickly, but writes it off. 


	8. Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben confesses to Rey, but not in the way we think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how some people watch a movie and find themselves standing up yelling at the tv to ruuuun bitch, ruuun.
> 
> I hope to channel that energy.
> 
> But I don't want to compromise by making Rey dumb, so things just end up interesting.

Everything starts to feel  _ normal _ now that Ben is around again. Like all is right with her world once more - as if he could spot the crooked picture frame in an old polaroid, he helps her make sense of things. She decides to go all in on trusting him - as much as her own heart allows her to do so. Because even if she crawled into sinking sand  _ willingly _ , there's still a wall that says  _ don't give up  _ and  _ please slow down _ . 

"The nightmares I have feels like.." She wets her lips and tries to recall what worked her up in a sweat. Ben comes in and is at her side until she can fall asleep again. He sits in a chair beside her bed and holds her hand. It feels silly, how easily she is comforted by the gesture. "Something.. chasing me?" She poses the phrase as a question during lunch because she isn't sure what to call the shadow  _ she _ sees in her dreams. The presence isn't a comfortable one, but she's not sure if it really means her harm. 

"You're an attractive woman, Rey." The statement leaves his mouth like a matter of fact and she falters before blushing. In all her years, she doesn't recall meeting a man who looks at her the way he does. The intensity in his eyes is like a hunger that  _ licks  _ at her skin, she fidgets with the food in her hand, a sliced apple. "I wasn't always around - you had a stalker." And her body  _ stills _ at the confession, clearly startled. She pulls the food away from her mouth and sits straighter at this admission.

"Who was he?" Her voice is tiny and Rey centers herself for a moment, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. Was she still being stalked and followed? Was that why the phone was such a big issue? Could it be traced because she was careless? And an even more horrifying thought was about her time alone, in the hospital. No way, Ben was there, but was he  _ always  _ there?

And then Ben chuckles, it is to himself and a bit sardonic. It feels completely out of place, but she has so many questions. "A fucking nobody." It comes as a shock to hear Ben curse and there's a darkness to his eyes as she pieces together another question. She can't decide on which one, so he fills in a very obvious reassurance. "He can't hurt you anymore, he never got the chance too." Of course not, but why is he so  _ sure _ ?

Rey nods, that's what people say to someone who looks pale with worry. She understands he is just being considerate.

"So the police - they got him?" Her brows are furrowed together for a moment. Ben just drapes his arm across the back of her chair with a thud and she tries not to jump in her seat and he is looking at a spot on the table, not her. His face at this proximity is strong and his gaze empty, like he's somewhere else  _ remembering _ . He has a beautiful jaw and lips, but it's all the things that make him up to look like a work of art and they're all somewhat distracting. 

"Yeah," he licks his lips and she resists a shudder, she cannot however ignore the goosebumps that creep along her forearm when his dark gaze leers at her. The smell of his cologne is like a spiced mahogany and the tips of his fingers lightly follow the path along her spine, it starts from the center of her back and over her bra line to the small of her back, before back up again. Each stroke is featherlight and her throat is tight, but she doesn't resist how good it feels. And she can't make sense of how her body is responding with a shiver as she feels a coil wind tight in her stomach. 

His hand clamps against the back of her neck, his thumb stroking a soft spot behind her ear. "They got him alright," his tone is light, like they are talking about a sitcom. "He can't hurt you anymore," he speaks with such strong conviction, with  _ such  _ certainty that she knows he isn't lying about this. 

And yet, she's too afraid to ask, what became of this stalker, because as forthcoming he's been with answers, she's just as equally afraid to know.

And she doesn't look up to see what expression he is wearing when he says it because she doesn't want to know what she'll find.

Her eyes close when he pulls her into his chest, a gentle "Come here," and she goes to him, sitting right on his left thigh, her feet no longer touching the ground. His other hand goes across her like a seatbelt, holding her at the hip, against the solid muscle of his chest. 

"You don't need to worry, I'll always protect you." He emphasis the word always, but if that was true - how did she get hurt in the first place? His lips kiss the crown of her head, his hand squeezing her hip lightly. "Always, Rey." This time it seems like he is saying it to himself and it's just a feeling she gets, but he feels.. a little broken. 

Her head dips against his shoulder, but now her eyes are studying the angle of his jaw and face. Perhaps no one has seen him this close and she's the only one privy to it. She decides to challenge his idea at first. "Then who will protect you?" His hand stills for a moment, but he doesn't respond and his breathing returns to normal, but it's there and she noticed. Then she pulls back, to see his face a little better. His eyes follow hers, like he can't get a read on her.

There's small slivers of moments like this, when she's steady and meeting his gaze. 

"I'll protect you too," her tone is a whisper because she doesn't need to be loud at this proximity. And yet Ben flinches as if she screamed it into his ear, it's the first time he looks so visibly shaken and she wonders if it's the first time he heard it. 

His brows thread together like he feels pain, an emotional turmoil creeping through his calm mask and when it becomes too much, he buries his face into her hair. "Ben," she calls after him before he can sink inside himself and cups his cheek. Her hand holds his face, lifting to see him and the wetness around his eyes. 

Rey leans in slow, unsure, but he doesn't revolt or pull away and presses a somewhat awkward kiss against his lips. It's one he merely receives and she can't say she did a good job. Their lips don't even line up correctly, she's a little too high up on the left side of his mouth and catches more of a corner, but he is surprisingly warm. And yet, it's all she can really offer because it doesn't seem as if she possesses anything else to give. 

Maybe it's a mistake, a really terrible read on her part but their lips are back together like a magnet, eyes closing and sweeping away any insecurities in a flash. His breath shunters out of rhythm and she parts her mouth, inviting him in. He's on her like an offering, his tongue sliding over hers, exploring and tasting. When it breaks, they're both taking a few deep breaths and pause as if to reassess it really happened.

Those large hands help move to fix her legs around him, so she can be flushed with his impossible large self, seated and separated by clothes. Even with all the clothes, she can still feel a portion of him and it's noticeably big and there's a thickness to it. His breath shakes a little, trying to reclaim some semblance of control. His big hand is cradling her back and the other is tucked under her knee, thumb stroking her leg, he's leaning forward. He swallows and starts shaky, "Rey you don't -," and she rolls her hips once, pressing  _ snuggly _ up against the front of his pants and steals his breath.

"Dont? Don't what, Ben?" She does it again, a little nudge because his grip on her has tightened. He fails to hold her still because she's willing to squirm. And the groan that escapes him sounds so  _ nice _ to her ears. A small little snake of a smile is there and when he catches sight of it, his expression darkens.

"You don't want to do that," there's a lecherous promise in his crooked grin. He lets her look at him long enough to see his posture shifted into predatory and then his hands are on her waist with a snap, poking and tickling.

It comes as a jolt, "Ben!" And then another, the attacks on her waist and stomach feel like fuzzy caterpillars crawling. Little strokes with the tips of his finger against her bare stomach, his hands under her shirt. She twists and turns, but he laughs at her helplessness, dodging an elbow when she swings trying to work free. Her yelps and pleas largely go unanswered and over her shouting his name he yields suddenly with what feels like mercy.

"You're the  _ worst _ ," Rey's panting and breathing for air. Her head is buzzing from all the energy expended and he holds her upright once more on his lap. Of all the things he could try, Rey had not expected him to be so juvenile. His expression looks like he's quite pleased with himself, his hands on her bare thighs from the small shorts, rubbing like some consolation prize. 

"You'll find it in your heart to forgive me," and then he plants a small kiss to her lips like a seal to his statement. Her eyes catch his, inviting him in for one more - and then on the third, she nips his bottom lip. He growls at this and even manages a genuine  _ wounded _ look, but Rey bites back - verbally this time.

"You'll find it in your heart to forgive me." It feels good to dish his words back to him and to see the spark light behind his eyes.

_______

  
  


Rose said being spoon-fed answers would only distort her image about herself, but she isn't sure how it applies to her. Its not memories she is missing of herself, just the year before the accident and everything revolving around Ben. 

She does remember working for Plutt, as a mechanic, but it felt more like an underpaid gopher. Time continues to move forward and with it the strength in her progress. 

And then her ability to stand for fifteen minutes becomes the new marker, the strength from water-aerobics and eating has restored a lot of her core strength. Then it leads to thirty minutes and each week adds in a new exercise regime. As she breaks through new goals she begins to realize that she's seen a lot less of Phasma as a result. Ben's reactions are positive and a little  _ smug _ .

"I never thought I could get this far," she exhales as she swims from one end of the pool to the next. His eyes are constantly on her - at first she thinks he is worried she'll go under and won't come back up.

"I never doubted your potential." He speaks cooly and she know he is only pretending to be on the digital tablet. 

She comes to a stop at the edge of the pool and pulls herself half way out. His eyes are on the black one-piece swimsuit like it's a feast and an offering. Then his gaze is dragged back to her face, like he can hear her thinking.

"What?" He says it like he's  _ annoyed _ she won't verbalize her thoughts. 

"Well aren't you afraid?" She finally asks and for the first time since she's been awake, someone else is finally confused. 

"Of.. Your potential?" He acts like he's trying to fill in the gaps without being given any clues. "No? Why would I be? - Rey, I don't understand, help me." He finally relents and she feels a slip of satisfaction in herself as well as her chest tighten briefly. There's nothing small about Ben and it isn't just his beefcake size. Even his ego tends to be higher than others.  _ Him _ worried that  _ she _ might become a handful? 

She knows now at this point, even with her ability to walk he'd still carry her around as he done so before. Her eyes roam from his fancy dress shoes, to his black slacks and white shirt. Even on days he didn't leave for work, it seemed like he always dressed well - even in his own home.

"That I'll.." _never remember_ _you_ , her mind supplies but her heart chickens out. Shit, she hates that. "Run away," she tosses the joke instead of truth, to deflect. Her hand is on the bar as she emerges from the pool to steady herself, water rushing off her body before she takes two extra steps and grabs the nearby towel. There's only one other poolchair today and it's next to Ben's. She'll have to walk around him and even with the big fluff towel, his eyes are on her as the tablet is set aside. 

"Excus-" she begins, attempting to cross, but he sits upright and grabs her. Her damp body pressing against his as he pulls her down. His crooked grin is near her face when he finally answers her.

"I love a good chase." 


End file.
